A Lament for Rin
by Forsaken Wanderer
Summary: Rin has died, and Sesshoumaru is trying to cope with it by carrying around the dead girl. Very abstract and straight to the point. One shot.


Author's Note: I was having trouble typing the fifth chapter of Tears of a Demoness. I was going through my fanfic folder and discovered I hadn't finished this. So, I added a little to it. The beginning of this story was inspired a bit from Rae-sama's "Gathering the Pieces" (read it!) but then it changes completely from there. It's just a short story of how Sesshoumaru would handle Rin's death. It's out of character for him I think as he's going insane. But I wanted to post it. This will stay as a one shot. It's abstract and sort of strange. Not everything may make sense. But then again, does it really matter?

Sesshoumaru stood over the grave of a child, looking at the poorly constructed tombstone he had etched with his talons. His eyes were blood shot and widened from lack of sleep. Trails left from where tears had once resided stained his pallid face. The taiyoukai had never wept like this before. Sure, maybe when he was a child but never as a full-grown man. And there was something disturbing when a warlord of his power sobbed like this. It put a hopeless feeling in a person, that if someone of such nobility and character could produce tears in such abundance that the world must be in total chaos. Yet why? Why of all times was he crying?

She was dead.

_His_ Rin was dead. The girl that brought him joy. The girl that brought him out of his emotionless shell was gone forever. Never again would he see that winsome face of hers which held so much happiness. Never again would he hear her giggling. Never again would he see his Rin.

Her death? It seemed simple now, so very stupid in fact. Sesshoumaru had left her with Jaken while he went off to battle his hated rival and brother, InuYasha. Jaken, the bumbling toad of a yes-man never really did care for Rin. Yet, he was forced the baby sit the child or feel the wrath of the Western Lord. But the toad never did keep that watchful of an eye on Rin in which led to the child's death. Sesshoumaru wasn't exactly sure what caused his daughter's death. He only remembered finding her lifeless body thrown across a daisy field. Instantly, when Sesshoumaru came back to fetch the two, he went into complete rage when discovering his precious Rin was dead. Jaken was mutilated on the spot.

And so, here Sesshoumaru was. Mourning this child's death. If only he hadn't been so selfish and off trying to steal his brother's sword. He supposed his father was laughing at him now, chortling in hell as he watched Sesshoumaru suffer. Laughing at his son's stupidity. And the taiyoukai had to wonder if this was some sort of punishment for betraying Inutaishou. For when he had withdrawn his Tenseiga, the blade of healing, it failed to bring Rin back. This struck horror into Sesshoumaru. Why did his sword not resurrect her? He still didn't know. All he knew was that he was in eternal pain, a wound far deeper than any scar he had received in battle.

Suddenly, he collapsed to Rin's grave, and then began digging into it. Unearthing the dirt, he felt the cool soil mingle with his bloodied claws. This was a difficult task when possessing one arm, but he didn't care. He cared for nothing. Except her.

After a few minutes of ripping up the soil, he came upon her body. Dirt fell from the limp child as he pulled her up, holding her to his chest. Her tattered kimono had already been eaten at by insects; twigs twisted into her hair. Angered, Sesshoumaru began cleaning out her hair, instantly killing any parasite he came upon. He ignored the faint smell of her rotting carcass; he simply kept her close to him, unable to accept the fact that Rin was dead.

"Rin, look what you've done to yourself," he scolded the girl lightly, as he'd always done. Sesshoumaru was never mean to this child; his rebuking always held a hint of amusement. "Getting dirt all over you like this. It's unacceptable Rin. I can't be seen with you if you can't clean yourself," he continued, shaking his head as he stood up. He refused. He refused to believe that she was dead. "I suppose will just find some place to get you cleaned up. There's a local village that I'm sure will let us in. This Sesshoumaru will get you a proper bath." He then began walking, his grip on the child never relenting.

Her body was cold. But Sesshoumaru ignored this as well. He simply kept telling himself that she would come around, that she simply was sick. Death would not be the answer, he was sure of it. When he came upon the village, some of the inhabitants fled in terror, screaming about the taiyoukai. Keeping his stoic mask, the Lord of the Western Lands just kept on walking until he entered the inn. Those who were brave enough to stay in his presence shot him odd looks. A taiyoukai warlord carrying around a dead human girl?

"She needs a bath," he told the innkeeper, his fangs threatening to tear apart the startled man if he said otherwise.

"Y-y-yes milord. Right away. I'll get a maid for her." The old man went back into the room, never once questioning this strange lord. Sesshoumaru cleared his throat while waiting for him, adjusting the lifeless body in his arm.

"Hopefully, the maid will arrive soon. You smell awful. Have you been playing in the mud again, Rin?" Sesshoumaru looked to the child, sniffing her. The people in the inn raised a brow, yet said nothing on the ways of the strange warlord.

"Milord? You sent for me?" Came the words of a timid maiden. Glancing toward her, Sesshoumaru set his child in the woman's arms.

"Yes. Bathe her. And find her some new clothing," he said flatly, accompanied with a cold glare. The maid stared at him, and then bit her lip when smelling the decaying girl.

"Milord...with all respect. Your child...Well, she's dead..." Sesshoumaru bared his fangs suddenly. He was not going to accept this truth. And he needed no one reminding him of it.

"I think _you'll_ be dead if you don't do as this Sesshoumaru desires." This was all that the maid needed for motivation.

"But of course milord. I'll get right on it," she perked up suddenly now that her life was on the line. Child scooped up in her arms, the maid entered another room without another word. Glaring at a peasant who had raised an eyebrow, Sesshoumaru sat himself down on the floor, his back upright in perfect posture as he waited, his face hinting no emotion.

When the maid had finished, she came back with the lifeless child, holding her closely. She approached Sesshoumaru hesitantly, placing the child in the lord's lap and letting out a frightened noise before running from him. Sesshoumaru looked at the girl, running his fingers through her hair. He noticed she was wearing a new bright orange and yellow kimono. It wasn't checkered like her old one, rather it was speckled with the cheerful colors. How ironic. She was dead and yet instead of black, the color of death, she wore yellow, the color of the sun, the source of all life.

Silent, the taiyoukai stood, Rin pressed close to him. He left without a word, never thanking the woman. He just walked, not sure of where he was going. But it didn't matter. Sesshoumaru was the Western Lord. He did what he pleased.

After a while, he was away from all people and demons. Realizing he'd been walking for some time now, Sesshoumaru sat down by a tree, looking to his child.

"You're probably tired so we can rest for a while."

No response.

"You just rest as long as you wish, Rin, I don't have anywhere important I need to be at." The taiyoukai glanced at the sky, his mind drifting. Then his eyes wandered back to Rin, intently studying her face. All color had been drained from it. Her rosy cheeks were gone along with her wonderful smile and her dancing eyes.

Sesshoumaru sniffed the air, trying to hold in a grimace. The girl's body was rotting away. Rin's bath didn't do her any good. The pungent smell increased, making the warlord's eyes water. The acids of her stomach tore at her inside, increasing the decaying of the child. Putting his finger in Rin's hand, he expected her to tighten her own little fingers around it.

Nothing.

Fear gripped Sesshoumaru, as reality set back in. Rin was gone.

_It's your fault, loving this human child. Look at you! Carrying around a dead child! You're clinging to her like an over-sentimental mother. She's better off in the ground, fertilizing plants. Don't be a damn fool! Get a hold of yourself! You're acting like your idiot of a mother, getting emotional like this. You're a warlord; pull yourself together!_

Sesshoumaru's body started to shake despite his attempts to hide all feeling. Quivering hands set the child beside him, Sesshoumaru unable to control them. He then put his face in his hands, his whole body continuing to tremble.

His Rin was gone.

And then Sesshoumaru began to weep.


End file.
